My Life...

My sinceriestly apologies. I have not been writing any blogograms to you lately because I have been incredibly busy with my studies! Shocking, I know! I was doing so well for a while but unfortunately I have hit a wall two days before my next midterm which is why I'm writing again!

My countdown to the end of the semester has begun and it is as follows: 1 midterm, 6 cases, 2 finals. And then I will be free to enjoy Christmas and my lack of funds to buy my dear, dear friends and family gifts! You hear that friends and family? You're getting homemade gifts this year. Yup. Enjoy.

So, down to business:

To everyone who thinks it is okay to talk to me and people like me in class:

On behalf of all people, like me, who hate talking to other people, making small talk, paying attention in class, and NOT doodling in their notes. Stop talking to us. I mean it. Stop. And no, I will not let you see my notes, I will not let you see my drawings, I will NOT tell you what the teacher just said and I will NOT tell you what the remedial assignment is! Because for the most part, I haven't taken any notes, my drawings are too awesome for your peasant eyes, I don't know what the teacher just said and I don't know what the remedial assignment is and I won't tell you even if I did because I want you to suffer!

If you so desire an explanation let me paint a picture for you:

I am at breaking point, I just finished a major project, two presentations AND two midterms. Now I am in Business Law, an evening class, I am falling asleep but also nervously awaiting the results from my midterm. Teacher tells us almost everyone sucked balls on the exam. Great, more nerves. But don't worry there is a remedial assignment you can do if you're one of those people who like to do stuff like that. Well, I finally get my midterm back and:

WHAT?

I got the second highest mark in the class?! (It's full of asians) High-Fives for me!! No remedial assignment for me!! As if I would do it anyways....

Alright so now I'm happy. Then it happens. A sweet little asian girl asks me to move my purse so she can sit down beside me. Strike One, no one sits beside me. No One.

She proceeds to look over her midterm and then asks me what my answer was for one of the questions even though the teacher just went over all the questions! Strike Two and Three because I don't want to talk to you AND you're being stupid.

She then asks me what the teacher said about the remedial assignment. What! Can't you hear?? Stop looking at your midterm and listen up if you need the remedial assignment so bad!

The teacher has since started writing notes on the board and she asks me if she can see my notes.

DOES THIS GIRL NOT KNOW WHO I AM?!?

You would think the fact that I was practically growling all my answers to her previous questions at her would make her think twice about continuing this relationship, but no, it. gets. worst.

I have written a full page of notes. Without any drawings. so I turn the page to begin writing again. She straight up turns my page back so she can see my notes on the other side!

I didn't even know what to do with myself. But because I am only a bitch on the inside I let her look at my notes, I answered all her questions, and I told her all I knew about the remedial assignment. I guess I actually encouraged her with my "kindness".

Sometimes I wish I was a bitch in real life and not just on my blog/inside my head...

Anyways, if you wanted further proof that I have reached my breaking point, here is a very scary drawing:

Not really sure how to explain this one.

Sorry for the long post but it's been awhile anyways so I had to make up for the ones I missed.

Midtermarama

It's already freaking November! The count down to end of semester and Birstmas has begun! 53 days until Birstmas (birthday/Christmas). But I actually haven't officially started my count down to the end of the semester because I'M STILL WRITING MIDTERMS!!

As of last night I have written four midterms. That sounds normal right? Well I still have another one Friday and another one in two weeks! RIDICULOUS!

To make this seem even more extreme: I'M ONLY TAKING 3 CLASSES THIS SEMESTER!

WHAT?!

What is that? Seriously? 6 midterms for 3 classes??

Oh ya, one more thing: 4 of those midterms are for THE SAME CLASS!

WHAT?!

Stupid Industrial Relations. I officially don't support unions because they make me need to take the most boring class (ON A FRIDAY MORNING) with 4 freaking midterms so I can learn about them. Not cool Unions, not cool.

 I have studied more this semester than any other semester in my three and a half years in University and I think my brain is about to explode. I have studied so much that I have reached my study-quota for the semester and I still have two more midterms to write! AND FINAL EXAMS!

Thank goodness I'm just a regular old business student who doesn't actually have to excel in the classes I'm taking this semester because they are not prerequisites for any other classes I must take in the future.

C+ average here I come!

I'm not even doing very well with my cartoon drawings lately. Caution: Stick figures ahead:

So this is supposed to be me on an average day but, honestly, the stick woman looks better than I usually do. Slightly more attractive as well...

Anyways, this is what I looked like this Halloween because it turned out I actually got to celebrate this year!

In my defense, I was not wearing a "Slutty Raggedy Ann" costume. I was supposed to be just regular Raggedy Ann. Unfortunately the costume was a size small and I have long legs and had had a drink or two. So, basically, I turned into Raggedy Ann if she was walking to Raggedy Andy's house and bumped into Ke$ha in a dark alley and was consequently dragged into one of her skank-tastic music videos. But I swear: My slutty costume was an accident. Kind of.

Halloween

Well it's almost Halloween time and guess what! I don't get to celebrate this year. Sad Face.

Unfortunately I have to work a certain Celtic Thunder concert on October 29th. You know, the day everyone else will be getting black-out drunk in slutty costumes?

And I LOVE wearing costumes! Not the slutty kind of course, the clever kind... Okay the clever/slutty kind.
And I LOVE.....drinking socially. Yes, just one drink with dinner...that's enough for me..

I will be very sad but making money and everybody else is will be having an awesome time.

That makes me sound like a prostitute.

In Any Event (hehehe), I drew a picture and forgot about it until a few minutes ago when I was looking through my notes "studying".

Why, it's Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs! And look! She's all dressed up for Halloween as a student at her favourite school: Hogwarts! It would also appear she is a Gryffindor or at least supporting Gryffindor at the latest Quidditch match. What a great/overdone Halloween costume!

You keep practicing those spells and remember: it's levi-o-sa not leviosaaa!

Study Break!

Oh hey there! 

It would appear that I need a study break and YOU need to procrastinate at the same time! What are the chances? Probably pretty good cuz I'm sure there's a whole list of things you could be doing other than being on your computer. Ever tried watching TV? 

Anyways, have you ever tried drawing a horse before? It's boggart-in-the-wardrobe riddikulus. 

See what I mean?

I made it a red horse with a purply-blue mane just to make it a little more interesting. Still terrible. But a little more interesting.

I just wish Industrial Relations was purply-blue and more interesting....

Cats on the Internet

Sometimes I stare at nothing for so long that after a while I can't even see anymore. I don't even know if that last sentence is typed correctly because all I can see is a bunch of blurry- Oh! there we go, now I can see again. Time to go look at more cats on the internet, BRB.

Lately my sister and I have been trying to convince my mom to get a kitten or a puppy. I love puppies but I'll settle for a kitten. I've wanted another animal for so long it's absurd. I usually try to smother my desire for a puppy or a kitten by looking at videos of them on YouTube or by spending hours on StumbleUpon which only ever shows me pictures from ROFLCat. But recently, we went to visit some kittens! Now I want nothing more than this super-sweet little Kitteh who isn't quite old enough for us to take her home yet. Thursday. I will come home with a kitten on Thursday, Mom. Beware the cuteness overload.

Oh also, it is now October. That means it is time for basketball to start again!! Last week I had bball on my mind instead of Business Law so I drew a picture about it.

It's a bear and a dog playing one-on-one with a bird ref. Also, I had a really hard time remembering what the thing the bear is wearing was called until my sister wore one that night at a practice. It's called a pinny. Oh the memories from elementary school that word brought back.....the smells of child sweat and boogers, playing rounders and California Kick Ball....ahh good times, good times. Especially Octopus. That was the funnest/scariest game ever.

Okay I'm going back to looking at pictures of kittens now.

Rock, Paper, Scissors?

New Business Development. That's what my Thursdays revolve around. It's this fascinating little class where the teacher tells us all about his KFC franchise and what we need to do in order to possibly get enough money to start our own businesses. The whole point of the class is to learn how to write up a business plan that you could show investors/lenders.

There are two main projects in this class: the business plan itself, and a group project. Of course. Because nothing says business like making small talk with people you barely know for five minutes every class and then for three hours the day before your project is due.

Well, this little post here, this one is all about one of my group members.

His name is not Ramsey.

Ramsey was the teacher's pet. So when Ramsey invited himself into my group I thought "oh great, well, maybe he'll do all the work and the teacher will mark us really easy cuz he likes Ramsey."

That was before I got a really good look at him.

Now, I just want to say that I will be friends with you no matter how nerdy you look, so long as it's a cool nerdy/you aren't actually nerdy.

My new group member Ramsey was about as nerdy on the outside as you could get.

• Red hair 
• Glasses
• Probably failed gym and got hit by a lot of dodge-balls back in elementary school
• Speech impediment
• Rides a moped

You see what I mean?

I was willing to look past all of that. I really was. I mean, if he did all the work obviously...

Well, after we had all exchanged phone numbers/emails we were just waiting around wondering if we could leave the class early. That's when Ramsey showed his true colours.

He leans across the table to look at me and the girl beside me and says in his slickest, coolest, sexiest voice he could pull off with his speech impediment:

"So...can I uhh.... interest anyone in a classic game of Rock, Paper, Scissors?"

I nearly died. It was hilarious. 

I feel a little bad for the guy cuz I was hysterically laughing and the only other person in the group just looked at him like he was crazy. But then the next week he wanted to play again. He actually wouldn't take "no" for an answer when my other group member refused. That wasn't as funny, just a little sad.

Today I tried to draw a picture of him but I felt a little stirring in my soul like I felt bad for him or something so I drew a dinosaur instead. Ramsey saw me drawing it and gave me a look like I was some kind of paper getting cut in half while being crushed by a rock.

If he can't appreciate a good drawing of a dinosaur wearing a sweater then I refuse to do any work on our group project. Yup.

EDIT: Today he showed up late for class and smelled really bad as well....it's not looking good for him people. 

In Any Event!

Well hello there lovely person who still sometimes checks into my blog even though I haven't written anything new in many weeks! I figured that, since September is almost over, it's about time I started writing again to show my appreciation to those four people who still sometimes check in to see if there are any new cartoons to check out.

So, as you may or may not realize, I'm studying Business Administration at the local university. Well, this semester I found out that in order to teach business at a post-secondary level you need to be a lawyer. All my teachers are lawyers! And let me tell you something about lawyers: They LOVE to hear themselves talk! Holy Moly do they ever talk a lot.

The one lawyer-teacher that makes sense is my Business Law professor. We'll call him....Fletcher Reede. He looks nothing like Jim Carrey but he does make up a lot of stories that could possibly be called lies. Well, Fletcher likes to hear himself talk as well, and he will often get off topic and try to get back on track by saying "in any event". I have honestly never heard anyone say those three words so many times in a three hour lecture. Last week, I counted.

For realsies. He actually said it 21 times in a three hour lecture. Not even three hours because we got out of class early! I once had a math teacher (who years later dated my mom...) who would make this weird noise all the time, kind of like a--I really don't know how to explain it but those who went to high school with me know exactly what I'm talking about. It was super annoying and made it hard to concentrate on math when all I could think about was how many times in one sentence he could make that noise and if he ever realized he was doing it. Well, approximately four years later, I am encountering the same situation and am no better prepared to deal with it. 

So, last week, not only did I decide to count how many times he said those three lovely words, I also drew a picture about it:

Side note: This is also an evening class so I will likely be doing most of my drawings during those three hours of Business Law in order to avoid the classic head-bob scenario associated with falling asleep in class. 

What The Truck!

HEYYYROWWW!!!!

I'm back! But not necessarily for good. I'm just bored and wanted to see what was going on in my blog-o-land! I was reminiscing about this blog and how hilarious I am and remembered Fire-Arms Raptor-Toes and nearly died laughing. That was such a good post. And "Give Me Space Bro!" That one was pretty funny too.

Well, we're at the end of July now and this summer has pretty much sucked all the balls. I think there has been about 7 sunny, warm days in the last few months and I have been working for all of them. And I work at a golf course, where how busy it is relies heavily on how sunny it is. So basically I've been spending my days standing behind a bar getting hit on by old men. Old men who have given up on subtlety and openly stare at my chest where my non-existent cleavage should be.

Whatever gets me money for next semester....

Anyways, here's a cat:

 I'm not totally cashing in on the popularity of cats on the internet, I just wanted to show you what my cat looks like as a cartoon. His name's Romeo. AND I RUV HIM!!!

Advertising

I know I didn't update last Thursday but I got pretty busy with a new job and homework and whatnot.

So to show you what I've been up to, here is a nice video:

Everyone please watch this because the group that gets the most views, likes and positive comments gets bumped up an entire letter grade! One group already has over 500 views, so we've got some catching up to do!

By the way, I know it's terrible quality, totally embarrassing and if I had my way, no one would ever need to see it but unfortunately I have to get as many people as possible to watch it....

Alien

NEWSFLASH: It's April 4th today!

I'm not sure if you understand my excitement. You see, my last class is on April 15th and it's April 4th today! Is that not cause for excitement? 

What I'm unsure of at this point is if I should continue this blog into the summer. I won't be bored drawing pictures at school for a few months and that's kind of what this blog is all about. I suppose I might be bored at random times throughout the summer and then it could be like surprise posts every couple weeks or something?

I think all fans of this lovely blog should tell me what they think I should do after April 15th and the most popular idea will conquer all. You don't have to be following the blog or anything to comment on the post AND you don't even have to tell me your name, you can be Anonymous, or better yet, everyone who comments has to use a name from Harry Potter! That would be all kinds of fun for me.

Well lets get on with it, in economics today we just did a review class so, as per usual, I drew a picture instead of paying attention. Today it is of a lonely little alien wearing those brown "leather" jackets with the fur everywhere, jorts, and black socks with a friendly little dog following him around. 

You've had a Busy Day Today

I did my first shift at a new job today. There was a lot of bleach and useless gloves involved so I decided to take my favourite claddagh ring off for safety and put it in my purse. After work I went to Subway and Starbucks to celebrate a successful shift then went to class. I drew a nice picture that I had a complete story planned out for; it was gonna be totally funny with another Minecraft/ Yogscast reference and all kinds of good stuff.

Unfortunately on my way home I went to put my ring back on and nearly crashed searching for it in my purse. When I got home and had completely dumped the contents of my purse without finding it, I nearly started crying. I've had that ring since I was fourteen and worn it every day for six years. Everyone in my family has one but me now. I feel so sad. A part of me is missing!

Anyways this is the picture I drew.

I was gonna write something along the lines of "that's a very nice pair of legs you have there" but I just don't have the heart for it right now.

This is the most depressing blog post I've written which is a shame because that elephant is so freaking cute!

Enjoy.

Give Me Space Bro!

I almost didn't draw anything today. It's a sad day when I'm bored to tears in economics and can't even draw to take my mind off the boringness that is the lecture. Let me describe what basically caused me to throw up everywhere from pure boredom.

Wake up in the morning feeling like a well-rested P Diddy, grab my hat I'm out the door, I'm not lookin too pretty. Before I leave brush my teeth with sensodyne cuz when I talk to people I don't want morning breath. 

I'm driving down the street, street, get a good parking spot, spot heading up to class, class. Picking an isolated seat, hope no one sits beside me they better not want to chat with meeee.

Oh no here they come, the class is filling up, today they decide to sit right beside me. Glad I brushed my teeth cuz they're so close it's not comfy! OH oh oh OH NO oh oh oh oh NO! 

Oh no I can't draw, they will see and judge me! They're not good, just silly pictures meant to entertain and please. Oh no I'm so bored this lecture's killing me! Oh oh oh oh NO! Oh oh oh oh No!

Umm ya so this is all I managed to draw and I think the silly boys sitting on either side of me might have still seen it even though I tried to be verrrry stealthy:

Please Don't Be Offended

Please don't be offended. I really don't think this is an offensive drawing but you never know how some people will react.

It was Taylors idea, just gonna throw that out there.

It's the Pope jumping on a trampoline.

Hilarious? Yes. Offensive? I hope not. Good? Not of great quality but one of my favourites. I mean, he looks like he's having a blast! And how could you not? Trampolines are AWESOME.

I was pretty bored when I drew this but my boredom definitely increased as class went on and the Pope turned into something else completely:

It's like what Lady Gaga would want the Pope to look like in one of her music videos.

And no, Taylor, I will not draw the Pope in a two piece bathing suit.

Surprise Post!

I know I said Classroom Cartoons would only be updated on Mondays and Thursdays but this doesn't really count as an update!

Classroom Cartoons has had over 500 views (most likely the same people viewing it multiple times) and I thought I ought to get my Facebook Fan Page some more Likes so those people who don't check back very often will know when I've put up a new post. Smart thinking right?

So here's the link:
Classroom Cartoons

Now go ahead and Like it!

Also, I would like to throw in a shout out to those people reading my blog in Sri Lanka, Hungary, Germany, Morocco and Malaysia! I'll admit, I got pretty excited when I saw those countries on my Stats page!

So keep reading and check back in on Thursday for the newest post!!

A Classic

This next drawing is something I've been doing for many years. It's one of my very first classroom cartoons I suppose. I remember I started drawing this because I had a book that told you what your doodles meant and I didn't really have any doodles besides squiggly lines, so the next time I was bored I decided to draw something and this is what came out of it:

It's a beautiful ocean scene with writing in the sand. A happy starfish is sunbathing on a rock while a sea snail scoots along the ocean floor and a school of fish do whatever it is schools of fish do. Further out in the ocean we see a dolphin jumping and frolicking around while a big blue whale just chills. I have many different versions of this drawing in my notebooks.

If you're wondering what that writing is, it's a description of ham in a can for my advertising class.The best descriptions are crossed out thought, including "cat food", "gross/vile" and "speckled". It's too bad I didn't get the next line in the picture though because it's the best part, it says "apocalypse/ bomb shelter ready". And honestly, the makers of this ham in can should totally hire me because I've thought of a bunch of commercials and ads they can use regarding the apocalypse and bomb shelters.

On another note, I'm totally curious about where that doodle book is now and what it would say about the drawings I do now....

Happy It's My Mom's Birthday Day!

A happy St Patrick's Day to everyone and an even happier Happy Birthday to my mom! I think she's like 25 this year or something...

I make fun of my own drawings a lot on this blog, I mean, it's kind of the point of the whole thing. But I got to a whole new level today.

While waiting to write a joke of an english midterm, I thought to myself "I should draw a leprechaun in honor of St Patrick's Day". I thought it would be nice and easy. Little green man, how hard could it be? Well, friends, let me show you what the worst drawing I have ever done looks like.

He's supposed to be clicking his heels together in a happy little dance beside his pot of gold.

The bird is because it was so terrible I wanted to destroy the stupid little leprechaun. I was actually a little embarrassed while I was drawing him.

In real life, he looks like the devil. On here, he kinda just looks like everything else I draw...

What is This?

It was supposed to be a dancing tree. Then it was going to be a dancing tree and sun. It turned into neither.

I don't think they're dancing.

The trees kinda just chillin' hoping to one day be able to walk and meet up with Treebeard. Meanwhile a sneaky cat is peeking out from behind him, probably up to no good.

And then there's the sun. He reminds me of an old man trying to be cool. His sunglasses are crooked, possibly broken. He's got little t-rex arms that can't even reach his mouth. And he's about as close as possible to that tree and nothing has set on fire... so clearly he's not very powerful either. He's really just kinda creepy.

It's a strange picture.

Bachelor #1

Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs may have a pet unicorn, have tea with tigers, fight skytrain-eating killer whales AND be able to fly, but she doesn't have any male companionship. Oh well, she's a nice strong woman and all that female-power and stuff, I mean who needs a man when you can fly?

But perhaps the reason she has not met a man yet is because of her sword arms, fire breathing abilities and elephant legs. It's a bit daunting.

Well here comes a man that might be able to keep up with her:

Fire-Arms Raptor-toes.

Get it? Fire. Arms. He's got guns for arms!

Yes those are supposed to be guns.

He also shoots water out of his mouth so that's kind of convenient.

Special Guest Stars- Part 2

Today we continue looking at people (aka my sisters) trying to be as cool as me.

And Sydnee tries so hard. She's certainly got potential but I don't think anyone can really be as cool as me. 

There's a lot going on in this picture so I'll try to explain it as best as I can.

• There is a rocket launching from Earth called Nemo because one fin is smaller than the other
• There is a cow chillin' on the moon. He must've gotten tired from constantly jumping over it
• There is also a trampoline on the moon which might explain how the cow usually gets over the moon
• Pluto is a "sad panda"
• There is a cat in a space suit- sorry- a MONKEY in a space suit...
• Meanwhile on Earth someone is magnified 3000 times and demanding a woman find his "shoe" at gunpoint 

Did I get it all? 

Coming soon:

Is there a man out there for Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs? 

Special Guest Stars- Part 1

Friday was bonding time with my sisters (except the one that's in Belize, she can suck it). I wanted to draw a little picture and they wanted to be featured in my blog so we all drew pictures. Sadly, the things they drew simply can not compare to what I drew (Trevor the Unicorn, I know right?).

Anyways, this first picture is from Nicole's brain. It doesn't really make sense to me. Maybe she's been volunteering too much time at elementary schools and is starting to think like the kids there.

The worst part is she doesn't draw like a third grader, she just draws whatever she wants like a third grader. And, in this case, it's a guitar that will bite your fingers, a snake-pen, a sad panda, a triangle monster and a nest which, if I remember correctly, is supposed to be sushi. Right....

Fun fact: while I was drawing Trevor the Unicorn, Nicole looks up from her drawings and tells me Trevor looks just like a drawing of a horse one of the kids in her class did that day. She's in grade two.

The Third Wish

Previously on Classroom Cartoons:

A picture of Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs having tea with a tiger. It was thought that having a pet tiger was Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs third wish from the Genie that she released. Turns out, she was just having tea with a tiger.

Her third wish? Something magical, powerful, mysterious!

It was Trevor:

The Unicorn.

What else could it have been? A pterodactyl? Ya right...

I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of this pink little guy in the future, peeking out from behind a tree in a meadow... jumping over rainbows... eating small animals... running away from Voldemort...

I Need New Pens

Snakes are on this plane. They are passengers on the orange, specially designed Snake Plane.On this plane, no one gets used for a skipping rope, there are all the furry rodents one could possibly need to eat, several heating lamps to lie under while you digest, and all the in-flights movies are films with snakes in them that have been altered to make the snakes look good. For example, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is told from the basilisks point of view and it's only doing what it wants, which just so happens to be destroy all mudbloods because they helped keep him locked up under the girls washroom for so many years. He's just glad to finally be free!

Sounds nice right?

Unfortunately for the snakes, there's a hungry-for-all-kinds-of-transportation killer whale waiting for them.

They never got to see how the Basilisk made his big escape though the Great Hall, right past Dumbledore, out the front doors and into the Forbidden Forest...

P.S.  It would appear that I need new pens.

Nice Hat

Ever tried on a hat and immediately loved it? This guy has:

I'm not really sure how to describe this latest picture. Some kind of lizard thing (who has made a personal appearance on my Magna Doodle) decided to wear a turtle to work today. I think it makes him look fierce. 

Or maybe the turtle got tired of waiting for a Giraxi and decided to jump on the head of particularly docile t-rex. Makes complete sense. Turtles, giraffes and t-rexes all lived in the same area, it's common knowledge. 

And just for your enjoyment:

I was eating Goldfish and realized they had the same smile. 

Tea Time

Donna once asked me if I was open to suggestion for drawings. I responded "Of course! Is that not how this whole thing started?" and so she gave me a very extensive list of all kinds of things that I definitely could not draw. This list included a bulldozer pulling a red wagon full of all my characters pushing an evil semi-tuck into a punji pit which is apparently a "pit of sharp sticks pointing up that look sharp and painful". Oh Donna....


 I was in English when I decided it would be a good time to draw and I guess some of her ideas went deep into my subconscious because the only thing it was missing was some boxing gloves and antlers. 

Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs must've wished for a pet tiger. Personally, I would've gone for a lion cub. And named him Todd. 


What a cute tiger! He's so happy!

The Answer

First day back to school after Reading Break and what do I do? Wake up half an hour before my class starts. Of course. Good thing I look good in hats and sweatpants.

As it turns out, economics is pretty easy and I destroyed my midterm and got my first "A" of the semester. This basically translates to "I'm not going to pay attention for the rest of the class because I rock and I'm sleepy and I'm awesome". So instead of listening to the teacher go over all the questions I already knew because I rock and I'm awesome, I drew my feelings.

And our result is a Sleepy Dragon.

He's dreaming about succeeding in life because he did so well on his fire-breathing midterm.

In other news, Fire-Breather Elephant Legs is a karaoke star.

Time to Bust Out the Nerd

At Boston Pizza last month you could donate a dollar to this charity and you got a heart that you could draw on which would then be put on the wall. Me and Alex debated over our entire dinner what we should draw on our hearts. The first ideas were mostly Disney related including "AHHHHHSIBENYAAA!!!" from the Lion King. After awhile though we let out our inner nerds and drew some truly amazing artwork. Well I did the amazing drawing, Alex did the writing.

So what you're seeing in this picture is Octomom, happy as ever, and a Creeper from the game Minecraft. If you don't know Minecraft you should go to YouTube and search "Yogscast Minecraft" and watch any of the videos. They're quite funny and will give you a pretty good idea of what Minecraft is about. 

One of the guys in those videos is hilarious and always does funny voices especially for creepers and says "that's a very nice everything you have there". So we stole his quote and turned it pizza related so anyone eating pizza near it will freak out and anyone who knows Minecraft will squeal with delight.

And if you don't know Minecraft and you didn't bother to look at those videos you can just pretend that it's a penis or a fist giving you the finger and it becomes quite terrifying.

The Look-a-Like

I know I claimed to really enjoy my advertising class this semester, but I just wanted to set the record straight: I like the class, not so much the teacher. Sure, she keeps me from falling asleep by interacting with us and making us do stuff and junk and scaring me into not texting during the class (I'm honestly scared she's gonna call me out in front of the whole class for texting and cause me major humiliation) but it's the topic that's interesting, not her. Frankly, she's a bit crazy. And looks like Sarah Palin.

Anyways, in our last class we were working on something that the Look-a-Like didn't explain very well so I asked her a question hoping she would explain it a little better. Nope. Instead she asked my question right back at me in her loud teacher voice for the whole class to hear and then stared at me. As if I'm supposed to have some great insight into the question now that the whole class is listening! 

Well jokes on you Sarah-Palin-Look-a-Like because now a dragon's going to burn you up!

Ahhh sweet revenge!

Now Safe for Turtles!

It took me two and a half years to figure out what I actually wanted to study in university. Marketing is kind of the only interesting part of a business degree and this semester I'm taking an advertising course. It's Reading Break right now and I still haven't drawn a single picture in that class, that's how much I enjoy it. Crazy right??

Well, I drew this picture in my English class (because English is boring) and I think it really shows off my talents in marketing:

Not only did I create a cool new way to travel around in the animal kingdom, I made it safe for turtles!

Think about this for a moment, you really need to get to the watering hole but it's so far away, you just hop on the nearest Giraxi and soon you're cruising above all the other animals with a great view all the way to your thirst-quenching destination!

I think this is a very appealing advertisement and I'm considering just showing it to my teacher so she can give me an "A" right now and I won't have to do any more work the rest of the semester.

It's a Celebration!

Way back in elementary school, on the last day of school, we would always have a party. Always. Well, elementary school was really easy and fun and the party was more of a "yay it's summer!" party than a "yay we're done school!" party. Now, being in university, I think there should be more "yay we made it through the semester without getting caught on Facebook/texting/sleeping/ or fighting anyone!" parties.

And there must be one party for every class you attended.

And one party for every class you passed.

Well this is the party I threw for making it through my accounting class:

Everyone came out to celebrate! Octomom even shaved her head for the occasion and you can tell the giant whatever-that-thing-is-on-the-left was dieting for weeks to get his/her figure in shape for the occasion.

And in case you were wondering, this was not the end of accounting for me... the final exam didn't go to well.

Turtles Can Jump

NOTE: This blog post is dedicated to my mum who is out buying me popcorn right now :) Thanks mum!

Did you know turtles can jump?

More than just jump, they can jump rope. I've always hated saying "jump rope" but it's the only way to explain what's happening in my latest drawing.

There once was a snake, he liked rabbits. There once was a turtle, he liked to jump rope. One day, Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs and a monkey were walking along when they saw the snake in the middle of digesting a rabbit! Right off the road they saw the turtle who looked like he really wanted to jump some kind of rope. Suddenly Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs had a great idea and proceeded to grab one end of the snake and directed the monkey to grab the other. The turtle knew exactly what to do.

Clearly my short-story skills are also at a third-grade level.

Toy Story Uno

Last year me and four of my friends went to Mexico for a week. It was probably the best week of my life. This drawing tells the story of how we prepared ourselves for that trip.

Now, it's probably a little hard to understand how this is a couple friends preparing for a Mexican vacation so, please, let me explain

• Me, Alex and Donna were in the middle of re-watching all the Harry Potter movies
• Toy Story 3 was going to come out in theaters shortly after we got back from Mexico so there was a lot of TS3 junk in stores, including a deck of Toy Story Uno cards.
• Donna figured it would be a good idea to buy a deck of cards so we could play Uno on our flight
• I forgot how to play Uno and suggested we practice
• One night we decided to watch Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince while playing Toy Story Uno to prepare us for the flight to Mexico
• We are animals
• The two animals outside the box weren't included and were sad

And that's the story of how three animals surrounding a round table with Harry Potter in the background with two more animals watching is the story of me and my friends preparing for Mexico.

And, if you were wondering, Donna's the giraffe, Alex is the panda, I'm the puppy, Hailey's the kangaroo and Taylor is the walrus (even though he didn't get to go to Mexico).

The Destruction of Mr Sniffles

This is the situation:

1. You're in a class that you hate
2. Your in a class with people you hate
3. You're about to write a quiz
4. You didn't study for the quiz
5. Someone behind you has a cold

If you've ever written an exam maybe you can agree, a Sniffler is THE single most annoying thing during a test. And once you've noticed the sniffling, there is nothing that can block it out again! It is all you hear and it makes it impossible to concentrate on the test.

Mr Sniffles had a cold the entire semester. And I noticed.

One day, after barely passing another test, I was extremely frustrated with Mr Sniffles. Taylor wanted me to draw a penguin making an omelet, I wanted to destroy Mr Sniffles.



Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs burns Mr Sniffles while a vicious Tyrannosaurus Rex gets strangled by an octopus while trying to chew him up. Meanwhile, a penguin fries up an omelet.

Drawing this didn't make Mr Sniffles healthy again. It did, however, make me feel better every time I pictured a dinosaur, an octopus, a penguin and Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs strolling into the classroom and begin to destroy him. And make omelets.

The Championship

The picture you shall feast your eyes on today remains unfinished. I suppose it was a detailed piece of work that I didn't quite start on early enough in class. Once again, Taylor had a ridiculous idea for what I should draw to keep myself entertained during accounting. A bunch of marshmallows playing beach volleyball with an otter.

Really.

I threw in a school of fish, a dolphin and a couple starfish because, obviously, this game is a big deal in the ocean-world. I mean, with such great competitors it has to be some kind of championship game!

Oh ya, the marshmallows have big pink arms too.

It's a bit tricky to see all the great details but, more importantly, Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs came by to catch the game too.

Stats

For some unknown reason, me and a select few of my friends were fascinated by Octomom. The name was, of course, the Hollywood nickname for a woman who, for some ungodly reason, decided to have eight kids all in one go. To our great minds, however, Octomom was a octopus mother. And we were her children. 

Note the motherly haircut.


The following comments are what my wonderful friends thought of this picture:

• Hailey you dont even understand how happy this makes me
• Alex  HAHAHA this is WIN. We all look so happy to be in octomom's grasp
• Hailey octomom is holding donna a little to tight shes turning blue!
• Alex  and me taylor and brandon are all a little green from the bumpy ride
• Hailey and me, dom, treen, court have been tanning too much so we are orange
• Taylor  we look like gummy bears.
  and octomom is looking quite favourly on donna!
• Dominique  she just has to keep her eyes on that one cuz she's a lil trouble maker!
• Hailey  who doesnt look at Donna favourly
• Taylor hahaah those 2 comments collectively made my night.
• Hailey YOUR MOTHER MADE MY NIGHT
• Taylor annnnnd now my night is ruined.
• Alex  HAHA lolface
• Hailey OH ME TOO! IVE JAJ A FEW TIMES NOW
• Donna  wow you guys have really out fone yourselves here, makes me feel quite loved actaully. and i just think that she favors all of us since we're all in her grasp.
• Donna but it is interesting why you made m the only blue one now that i think about it. why am i the only unique one??
• Dominique  i dunno hahaha i wanted to add some color?
  PS go to awkwardfamilyphotos right now and laugh out loud at the one of the kids on the swings!!!
• Donna  BAHAHAHAHA I totally did... how embarrassing...

I think it's pretty clear why we're friends. Also, that picture on awkwardfamilyphotos was hilarious. 


Just in case you were worried about Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs absence from this picture, please, put your mind at ease. 

She's just busy doing yoga. 

Vancouver 2010

I drew this next beauty shortly after the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. I was going through Olympic withdrawal combined with the After-Reading-Break Blues and it was not a fun time. All I wanted to do was gather my friends and make another trip into the city to enjoy the atmosphere and listen to (and sometimes join) some more intoxicated citizens sing Don't Stop Believin' and Oh Canada on the skytrain. I wanted to give out more Free High 5's and take pictures with random people in the street just because we were all wearing the same flag! I also wanted to get interviewed by some more weird news crews who didn't even tell us what station they were for. So many good times....

As you can tell, I loved the Olympics so please understand that this next drawing is not a terrorist plot.

You can see how someone could reasonably misinterpret it as a plan to kill hundred on the skytrain. It is not. It is a giant Killer Whale eating a skytrain that is falling off a broken track into its mouth while Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs fights it.

Obviously this is a fantasy since whales cannot live out of water and the skytrain does not go out over the ocean. Also the fact that it's a giant killer whale eating a skytrain is kind of a major hint. And Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs, who, by the way, appears to be wearing a new necklace. Maybe another one of her three wishes from the Green Genie?

Time Thief

One of the weirdest requests for a drawing that I ever got from my friends (and looking back on what I've shown you so far, that's saying something) was to draw an over flowing pot of beans.

I mean, honestly, how do I work with that? I guess it was a slow day in the idea factory. I drew it anyways.

So, let's take a look at what we've got here

• Green Genie stirring the pot
• Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs doing some kind of dance
• Fat little guy who hates this class
• And, of course, the over flowing pot of beans

Also worth noting is my accusation that they're all Time Thiefs who distract me from my precious learning time! I mean, how could they do that to me?

...There's also the possibility that I had recently watched a certain episode of The Office and was remembering a particularly funny Jim/Dwight moment.

That's a Very Nice Face You Have There

This drawing needs a lot of explaining so I'll just show it to you right away.



Once again Taylor was full of ideas and once again I drew them at a third-grade level. I think Hailey might've added some ideas to this picture too. But here's my explanation:

• The Genie is supposed to be Taylor. Wearing overalls with no shirt and holding a pig.
• Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs is MILKING a chocolate milk cow. Nothing else is going on there. I just have poor drawing skills and it didn't turn out quite the way it was supposed to.
• And that's a baby pterodactyl getting snatched up by a bigger pterodactyl.

SOME people may have interpreted this fantastic piece of art incorrectly and definitely in an innapropriate manner. We are no longer friends.

I like the pterodactyls. Enjoy.

Punctuality

Ever had the feeling that someone's watching you? When I drew this next picture, people were. You see, I have a compulsive need to get to class exactly fifteen minutes early. However, to make sure that I get to class fifteen minutes early, I get there twenty minutes early instead. So basically I had a good seventeen minutes of nothing to do before my class started, which is why I began to draw. When I started no one was sitting beside me. But slowly, slowly the other zombie-students started creeping their way over to the empty seats around me. I hit my awkward peak for the day when I turned to the left to hide the picture from the girl on my right only to find some giant blonde guy staring directly at my unfinished, third-grade level masterpiece.

 I avoided eye-contact but immediately felt like that weird girl that's in every class. The one who has no friends, just keeps to herself and draws romantic pictures and writes out poetry and song lyrics.

Except I have friends, I just don't talk to them unless they talk to me first, mostly because it's ten o'clock in the morning and I'm still half asleep. And the pictures I draw are not of hearts and roses but of awesome fire-breathing, elephant-legged women and camels with no tails and dinosaurs licking trees!

...maybe that's worst.

Needless to say, I took a temporary break from drawing during that class and the picture I came out with is still awesome.

Fire-Breather Elephant-Legs can fly. 

The Sun Shines on the Camel

My friends and I all went to different universities and one of them even lived in Alberta. To keep in touch, we used to have group chats on MSN while we watched American Idol auditions and made fun of everyone. During a commercial break one night I announced how my class the next day was going to be so boring and that I didn't want to go. Taylor, who I've basically dedicated this blog to and who might be the only one reading it, suggested I take the opportunity to draw another picture. Brilliant. So I ask my genius friends for suggestions. This is what I got:

• Draw the fire-breathing woman (Hailey)
• Draw a genie (the genie is supposed to be Taylor)
• Draw Brandon
• Draw a camel

You can see why we're friends.

I, of course, drew all these things but also added a few details of my own

So there is the Fire-Breather, the genie, the camel, and Brandon. The camel is running away though and Brandon's trying to catch it as he yells "My Camel!!!" while being chased by a dog. And a pterodactyl. A baby pterodactyl.

Another thing to note about this picture, I wasn't sure if camels had tails. Still not sure if they do... So I just wrote, in the tail area, "do camels have tails?" and figured that was enough.

The genie is, by law, offering the Fire-Breather three wishes. Not sure what they were but in future pictures she doesn't have sword teeth anymore...

The most important detail of this picture though?

The paragraph right above the antics of these new characters.

Why?

Because that's all the notes I took in that three hour class.